Episode 27

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Published on:

1st Aug 2022

How to Have Wish Planning Conversations

“Final Wishes” conversations don’t always have to be difficult.  Some people believe such discussions create “bad mojo” or push the inevitable forward.  However, they can be somewhat fun, especially if turned into a travel-type game. 

In this episode of Summer Shorts, I dive into some easy ways for you and your loved ones to lay things out for when that time comes. Sharing your wishes, and outside legal documents, can make caregiving a bit easier, when you know what, how, and when to make such difficult decisions. It moves us, caregivers, away from later heartaches when that time comes, while allowing for more time to celebrate life, now. 

It’s important not to wait to have these conversations because attorneys can’t legally accept someone’s signature on a document when they’re later determined not to be of sound mind and body. Besides, one can learn so much more about family history, quirky growing-up stories, traditions, and special treasures you never knew about, while memories are fresher.  It’s good to understand who gets grandma’s keepsakes or grandpa’s favorite watch, or the family photos and books. These small bequests often mean more to some than most bigger things.

Discussions should be had, and decisions made on when to enter into Hospice, being kept on life support, getting CPR and intubated, etc. They are best known before things happen and there’s no time.  These things will eat at your heart, as a caregiver, if you don’t know or make the wrong call.

Here are some books/tools to get you started.

  • Book: Being Mortal.  I absolutely love this book, by a surgeon, who has seen many families suffer by not knowing what their family member’s last wishes.  He gently guides the thought process in how to make your wishes known with more dignity. Most doctors do not know how to have these types of conversations with their own families.
  • Workbook: Final Wishes:  Estate Planning Documents.  A book that won’t help with personal wishes, yet it does provide a good workbook-style format for what documents are needed and where all accounts are located.
  • Tool/Resource: Consider helping someone write a letter to those they love, to be opened once they’ve passed. This might be a little scary for the person writing the letter, and for those who’ll wind up opening it.  Consider what might be included for you, the caregiver, and others. How To Make Your Funeral Wishes Known To Your Loved Ones.

Host:  Nancy May, Author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  is an acknowledged expert in managing the path of step-by-step caring for aging parents, even from over 1200 miles away. For a free, fillable File-of-Life go to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be taken as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek the advice of your own personal medical, legal or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2022 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved.

CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.



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About the Podcast

Eldercare Success
Doing It Best with Eldercare Success
Join us in Doing it Best with Eldercare Success where we explore ways to relieve the stress, exhaustion and overwhelm that we all face in caring for an aging parent, frail spouse, or partner. Fear, frustration, emotional and financial strain do not have to be your MO! In this show, we dive into unraveling the tricks, traps, and gotchas that create more questions than answers while caring for those we love.
Join Nancy May, and her guests as she helps relieve the pressures and delivers solid ways to find more joy and freedom as we care for those with those we love. Here you’ll learn how to find the ground under your feet again. Hang tight there’s a better road ahead.
keeping our feet on solid ground. Hang tight there’s a better road ahead.

About your host

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Nancy May

Nancy May is a corporate leader, business advisor, author, speaker, and nationally recognized podcast host. She has spent her career working with CEOs, Boards of Directors, and senior leaders in the public and private corporate sectors. These experiences gave her the strength and foundation to step in and provide her parents with guidance and support, both as their POA and Trustee, and diehard advocate as they aged. Nancy credits her father an entrepreneur, innovator of innovative eyewear design, and her mom for encouraging and preparing her to acquire the many skills needed to start, build, and lead several successful businesses. She has transitioned these competencies and life lessons to into her new business, CareManity, LLC, which focuses on providing family caregivers structured ways to obtain practical knowledge, resources, and access much-needed support.