Episode 112

full
Published on:

20th Mar 2024

Warning! NEVER hire only one home-care Aide - and why

NEVER hire only one home-care Aide: and why!

In this episode of the Eldercare Success podcast, Nancy May tackles the key issues when you’re considering hiring an aide for aging parents. This includes whether to hire one or several aides and if it’s a good idea to have a full-time aide living in your parent’s home so you have greater peace of mind – or will you? 

There are a lot of unintentional mistakes family caregivers can make that can have disastrous results for you, your family, your parents, and even the aide(s) you hire. 

This episode provides direct-to-the-point advice on how to navigate this tough challenge.  You’ll learn to make more informed and compassionate decisions for your loved ones and those you hire to care for your parents.

This episode of Eldercare Success is a must-listen for anyone looking for clear, actionable guidance about key considerations when thinking about, and planning to hire one or more homecare aids for an elderly parent. 

  • How many home care aides is enough
  • Why you should never have just one aide
  • Risks of moving a home care aide in with your parents
  • Things to consider for your aides as well as your parents.

Eldercare Success Episode Links & Resources:

Host: Nancy A. May has gone from the Boardroom to the Emergency Room to care for her aging parents and educate business owners, corporate employees, and leaders with more strength and confidence in doing well and doing good. Nancy is the five-star author of How to Survive 911 Medical Emergencies, Step-by-Step Before, During, After!  and an award-winning expert in managing the complexities of caring for an aging parent or family member, even from over 1200 miles away, or more. For a Free File-of-Life to www.howtosurvive911.com. Nancy is also the Co-Founder of CareManity LLC, and the private FaceBook group, Eldercare Success.

#howdoIfineacaregiver #elderly #caregiver #getpaidtocareforelderlyparents #longdistancecaregiver #homecare #homehealthaide #carefacilities #backgroundcheck

Disclaimer: The views, perspectives, and opinions expressed in this show are those of the show guests and not directly those of the companies they serve or that of the host or the producer CareManity, LLC. The information discussed should not be taken as medical, legal, or financial advice. Please seek advice from your own personal medical, legal, or financial advisors as each person’s situation is different. (c) Copyright 2024 CareManity, LLC all rights reserved. CareManity is a trademark of CareManity, LLC.



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Transcript
Nancy May:

it's Nancy May in Doing it Best With Eldercare Success.

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Every day has its opportunity to learn something new when you're a

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caregiver, and even when you're not.

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I love learning, and I'm hoping you do too.

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Well, I'm guessing you do.

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But the stress and strain of caregiving is sometimes not the kind of lesson

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you want to learn from, or the type of experience you want to learn from.

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It's not easy,

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and I understand that.

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But my job here is to make it just a little bit easier, if not a lot

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easier, for you and your family.

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I want to share a conversation that I recently had with a potential caregiver.

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And we all are, at some point in our lives, whether we want to go there or not.

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in this particular case, this fellow was trying to figure out

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how to help his mom and dad.

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Dad was taking care of mom, some early signs of maybe some cognitive issues

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with him, and mom was really having some hard time with some form of dementia.

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I hate to say Alzheimer's because it didn't sound like it had been

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officially diagnosed, but there were definitely some issues going on.

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Mom and dad wanted to stay at home, which you can greatly appreciate.

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None of us really wants to be kicked out of our home, forced out of our

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home, or forced to move into someplace that we don't feel comfortable in.

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And that's not true of everybody.

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A lot of people do like to go to social environments and care facilities.

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But that's for another story.

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In this particular case, he said, we're looking to hire an aide.

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And we're going to build a small house or cabin on the property, which they

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had enough of, good acreage, good rural environment, and that's great.

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But he said, I wanted to hire one person, move them in or give them an opportunity

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to live partially rent free or rent free on the property and care for mom.

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My reaction?

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What on earth are you thinking about?

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he was stunned.

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He and his family thought this was a great idea.

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Somebody could get a nice house, a home, and be there devoted to

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their mom and eventually dad.

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Here's the problem with that, and there's several.

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The first is, you've just moved somebody into your house, whether it's

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an apartment, or into your home, or your parent's home, that you're not

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exactly sure what their background is.

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Even if you do a background check, that only gives you a

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partial picture of the real story.

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and if you have no experience, Or little experience, interviewing somebody to

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really get at the details of who they are, how they behave, their morals and

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what their professional background is.

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Then you're running blind.

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the second point is, if you move somebody in, and all of a sudden things don't work

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out, they don't work out with your mom, they don't work with your dad, you're

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concerned about the quality of care that's going on, or there's some personality

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thing that's just not happening right, try to get them moved out.

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Not easy to do, and you, that's not easy to do.

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And quite frankly, it's not fair to that caregiver.

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I recently heard of another family who had moved a caregiver all the way

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from the West Coast to the East Coast.

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In a similar situation, they moved her in, and it didn't work out for

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them, and it didn't work out for her.

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Now, not only had that individual or that caregiver moved from

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their own home, a territory and an environment that they knew, into a

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stranger's environment, and now had to leave and wasn't sure where to go.

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Most families don't even consider that.

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The third point is now that now you've moved somebody in.

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What happens if they get sick?

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What happens if they get tired?

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What happens if the situation with your mom or your dad or your loved one

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changes where they're just not competent and capable of handling the changes

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in the lifestyle or the healthcare environment situations of your loved one?

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Not good.

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Not good for you, not good for mom and dad, not good for them.

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And I say not good for them because this is important.

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When you're employing or bringing on a caregiver, you really do

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have to consider their life too.

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It's not fair to them if you don't do that.

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You are, I'd say, a team in making sure the quality of life of your

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loved one is strong and healthy and good right to that very last breath.

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And you want to make sure that they're with you too.

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So, these are just three points as to why I recommend you have more than one.

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Ideally, a minimum of three, four, we had six.

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the reason why we had six is that it gives everybody a chance to have their own life.

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And if something's not working out, one down is not that much

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of a deal to a team of five.

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Schedules change, lives change, people get sick, mom and dad's situation

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change, and your situation change.

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And your situation changes.

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Mom and Dad's situation changes, and your situation changes.

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Six sounds like a lot, but it's really not.

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And if you're relying on hiring aides independently, which is all okay, we did

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that, or through an agency, you have to understand the difference between hiring

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yourself and working with an agency.

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And there are big differences, believe me.

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so those are just a few tips, how to make sure that you're looking at the

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whole issue of bringing a caregiver or an aid into your home with the

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right set of balance for you, for your parents or loved one and for the aid.

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That's important.

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You want a good relationship with them just as much as you

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want a good relationship right to that very end and that last

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breath, as I say, with your folks.

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Why?

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Because every day counts for them, for you, and for the aid,

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if you've got the right one.

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Now, that's not it for Eldercare Success.

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There's a lot more that's going on in store here.

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And if you're caring for a loved one, chances are you're going to

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have to dial 9 1 1 at some point.

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So please, I highly recommend that you get the book, How to Survive 9

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1 1 Medical Emergencies, a step by step guide before, during, and after.

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I've written this book with my partner, my husband, and with many others

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who have been there down this road.

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He was, my husband was a first responder at one point in his life too.

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Doctors, trauma surgeons, aides, practitioners, and those who

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are attorneys, accountants, and others who have been in this

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life experience themselves.

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I guarantee it's a tool that will be of value to you and to those that you love.

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It will make your life easier.

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So that's it for another quick episode of Doing it Best With Eldercare Success.

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As I always like to say, please, if you like this show, share it with a

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friend, a family member, or somebody maybe that you just meet online at

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Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, who looks like they're under a little bit of

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strain, and could use some help, why?

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Because it can be your gift to them, and it's our gift to you.

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We'll see you soon on Eldercare Success on YouTube, or we'll hear

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you soon at EldercareSuccess.

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live, the podcast.

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Take care.

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Bye bye.

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Love to you all.

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About the Podcast

Eldercare Success
Doing It Best with Eldercare Success
Join us in Doing it Best with Eldercare Success where we explore ways to relieve the stress, exhaustion and overwhelm that we all face in caring for an aging parent, frail spouse, or partner. Fear, frustration, emotional and financial strain do not have to be your MO! In this show, we dive into unraveling the tricks, traps, and gotchas that create more questions than answers while caring for those we love.
Join Nancy May, and her guests as she helps relieve the pressures and delivers solid ways to find more joy and freedom as we care for those with those we love. Here you’ll learn how to find the ground under your feet again. Hang tight there’s a better road ahead.
keeping our feet on solid ground. Hang tight there’s a better road ahead.

About your host

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Nancy May

Nancy May is a corporate leader, business advisor, author, speaker, and nationally recognized podcast host. She has spent her career working with CEOs, Boards of Directors, and senior leaders in the public and private corporate sectors. These experiences gave her the strength and foundation to step in and provide her parents with guidance and support, both as their POA and Trustee, and diehard advocate as they aged. Nancy credits her father an entrepreneur, innovator of innovative eyewear design, and her mom for encouraging and preparing her to acquire the many skills needed to start, build, and lead several successful businesses. She has transitioned these competencies and life lessons to into her new business, CareManity, LLC, which focuses on providing family caregivers structured ways to obtain practical knowledge, resources, and access much-needed support.