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Hi there.

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I'm Nancy May, the host of Eldercare Success.

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before we get started, I wanted to share a comment from one of our listeners.

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Chrissy Smith.

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Chrissy says, I just wanted to let you know how I'm really enjoying your podcast.

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My in laws are at a stage where they need help and don't want it.

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My parents are pretty good about accepting help, but I know

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it's difficult for them too.

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Great show!.

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Thanks Chrissy and thank you so much for everybody else who's willing to share

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their comments and their thoughts or even make a suggestion or ask a question.

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That's what we're here for.

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Because as I always like to say, together we're stronger.

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Now, let's get on with the show.

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This show's about helping our parents gain a little bit more independence

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when they have that tingly feeling in their hands and feet, and may

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not even be able to feel them.

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It's called neuropathy.

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I had first hand experience watching my dad struggle with

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the impact of neuropathy.

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It was heartbreaking actually to see how his condition affected his ability to

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perform even some of the most basic tasks.

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Things like eating or writing me notes, where he always said in his letters to

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me, Oh, I hope you can read my handwriting because I can't feel my fingers.

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Or anytime I visited, he would say, I can't feel my fingers, but that's okay.

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I get along.

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I'm all right.

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And he did, but even still, walking sometimes became incredibly difficult

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because he couldn't feel his feet.

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I know that many of you listening here probably have similar challenges

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in taking care of your parents.

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They don't want to admit that there's a problem, and that's okay, but just

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knowing or being aware of it can make all the difference in their life and yours.

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I'm going to dive into a little bit more about what neuropathy is and how it can

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dramatically impact your parents life, their independence, and most importantly,

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some practical steps that you can take to make their lives just a little bit

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easier and give them some more dignity

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Whether it's specialized utensils.

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Or mobility aids or adaptive techniques.

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There are so many ways that we can use to support our parents to make their

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lives just a little bit easier when, Oh, my fingers are numb and I really can't

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feel that pencil when I'm writing to you, But I hope you can read my writing.

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Comes out.

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by the end of this episode, I hope you'll have a better understanding

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of neuropathy and have a little bit more power to take control or

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give control back to your parents.

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So what is neuropathy?

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It's actually kind of a catch all term that describes damage in the

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nerves, which can lead to a numbness, a tingling, or even a pain, especially in

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extremities like the hands and the feet.

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Neuropathy in the hands and feet, also known as peripheral neuropathy, say that

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one three times fast, can be caused by a variety of factors, including diabetes,

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Sometimes vitamin deficiencies, like vitamin D, which is pretty

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easy to happen to an aging parent.

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it can also be a result of an autoimmune disease like rheumatoid arthritis,

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lupus, Gillian Barr syndrome, and other things that actually attack the nerves.

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neuropathy can also happen as a result of infections,

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and even toxins that can build up in the body over time.

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Some medications can actually cause neuropathy as well,

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like chemotherapy drugs.

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then neuropathy can also happen as a result of injuries or trauma

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that have impacted the nerves over time, hereditary disorders.

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And even kidney and thyroid disease.

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For my dad, neuropathy was primarily in his hands and feet.

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Years earlier, he had had both hips replaced.

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In fact, he actually had one hip replaced a second time because it wore out.

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His doctor told him he exercised too much.

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Dad loved tennis.

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Dad also had arthritis in his hands, which is not uncommon

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for a lot of elderly people.

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And he would complain about the tingling or numbness or not being

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able to feel a pencil When he was trying to write me letters, even in

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making notes, I could see the videos that the aides would send me, and dad

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would be making lists for Christmas cards and gifts to give at holidays

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and other things that he wanted to do.

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He was a list maker for sure.

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And just getting the notes out for himself so that he could read them was difficult.

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Sometimes even eating properly at the table was difficult for him.

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Simple tasks like picking up a knife and a fork or holding a cup.

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Can you imagine what it's like to try and feed yourself when you can't

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feel the fork that you're holding or the cup that you're holding?

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You can see it, but you can't actually feel it.

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It's kind of weird for sure.

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It also makes life incredibly difficult just for daily activities, That loss

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of dexterity and the sensation not only made him overly dependent on others,

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although he tried not to be, but at a higher risk for falls and injuries.

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You see, when you can't feel your feet, you also tend to shuffle.

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So having proper fitting shoes is important.

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It's also important to understand that when neuropathy attacks the feet, you're

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not able to necessarily feel if there's a sore or a rub going on in a shoe that's

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ill fitted or just not comfortable.

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We always try to make sure that dad's shoes were the right size, he had big

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feet, and that the cushioning of the socks were good for him too and didn't bunch up.

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That's not easy for a caregiver like us to do because, you know what,

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socks bunch up even in my own shoes.

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And if you can't feel them, those wounds happen very

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quickly on frail, delicate skin.

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And yes, the skin on our feet becomes very frail and very think over time

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But those wounds can create bigger problems down the road.

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So pay attention to shoes and socks and how your dad and mom's feet

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actually fit into their shoes.

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Unfortunately, a lot of podiatrists will sell you these ugly, I call them

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Clawhoppers, the shoes that dad had gotten looked like Frankenstein shoes,

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and I think because the toes were so large, I understand because they wanted

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to make sure there wasn't any rubbing or the inside of the shoes, but they

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also looked like they were probably causing dad more problem than help.

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You see, these big boxy toes when you can't feel your feet

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are difficult to pick up.

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So understand that when looking for proper shoes and fitting When dealing with

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parents who have neuropathy in their feet,

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one of the biggest hazards for an elderly person who has neuropathy is

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the dangers of falls or accidents.

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You see, neuropathy can even make it difficult for somebody to

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even notice if they've been cut.

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Well, unless they look down and see there's blood everywhere on the floor.

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That's not such a good thing, because then you got to run and get a band aid,

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or a bandage, or God forbid, a tourniquet.

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Okay, I'm slightly over exaggerating, but you don't want to get there.

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when walking, it's also difficult for them to properly gauge the position of

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their feet and where they're placing them.

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So tripping on the edge of a carpet or even picking your feet up high enough

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To get over the edge of the garage door into the house can be difficult.

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One of the best things that I love for that problem is to make sure that

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you've got a ramp from your garage or your front door into the house.

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That makes it just a little easier in picking up feet so

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that they can clear the doorstep.

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Well, they don't even have to clear the doorstep because it's a smooth ride up the

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hill and a gentle one, hopefully, at best.

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Beyond safety concerns like walking or falling even because

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you can't feel your feet

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and yes, even feeling that you've got a cut and are bleeding

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like a pig all over the place.

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Maybe not like a pig, but in any case, beyond safety concerns,

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neuropathy can also make it extremely difficult for an older person to

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deal with basic daily activities.

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That sense of dignity and wanting to be able to dress yourself or bathe

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yourself can be difficult as well.

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for example, buttoning.

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Now, buttoning shirts or pants or zippers or anything like that, again,

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when you can't feel your hands, just getting a grip on something or knowing

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if your grip is tight enough isn't easy.

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one way to make that a little easier is to make sure that clothing

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doesn't have buttons or zippers.

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There are a lot of attractive clothes out there now for older people and younger

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people, where they're just pull ups.

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can you imagine dad in Lululemons?

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Lululemon, but I don't even know if they have them for guys.

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I guess I'll have to check that one out.

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Dad always loved his buttoned pajamas, but our aides made sure that his

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dignity was kept intact and helped him make sure that they were buttoned

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properly, or buttoned them up first and got them in up over his head.

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Losing that sense of autonomy and dignity is really devastating

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for many of our folks.

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And it's hard for us to watch too.

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As caregivers, we have to be proactive in finding ways to support our parents

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and to help them maintain their independence as long as possible.

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I know we all want to step in and say, Mom, Dad, maybe you need a little help.

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And they're reluctant to accept it.

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You've got to understand they've been taking care of us all their lives,

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even if we're well into our fifties.

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and thinking of us as the ones that care for them can be difficult.

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So a little gentleness goes a long way on both sides, but

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here are 10 ways to help your older folks with neuropathy issues so they

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can keep their dignity intact and you can keep your head and heart intact.

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first is to invest.

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And adaptive kitchen tools, things like turnkey jar openers.

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Or a rocker knife.

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Now, I actually don't recommend a rocker knife because all you need to

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do is get your finger underneath that if they don't have both hands on.

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And oops, dad's lost a finger.

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Not a good thing.

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However, there are these big grip handle utensils, forks and knives,

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that have a rubber grip to them.

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And they're great.

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They look a little clunky, and my dad was reluctant to use them at first.

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But, you know what?

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After he started to use them, he actually could feed himself, and not have to worry

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about the food falling off the fork.

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so that kept everybody happy, me included.

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There are also larger plastic cups that can be held with kind of

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like sippy cup handles on either side made specifically for adults.

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now the kid ones are kind of small And again, if you're dealing

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with arthritis, gripping a hand around a small item is not easy.

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So I recommend getting a hold of the bigger grippy handle ones for adults.

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number two is encouraging gentle exercise, which is going to help improve circulation

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and mobility in hands and feet.

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Now that doesn't have to be a lot.

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A small one pound weight, just moving the wrist up and down is a great one.

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Or even those squishy balls.

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They can be fun because they can be funny faces.

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I found one the other day that looked like a French bulldog.

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How cute is that?

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The third is to ensure that your parents have well fitted and

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supportive footwear to prevent falls.

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That includes making sure they're not too slippery and not too sticky.

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Sticky shoes can sometimes grip too hard to carpets and that becomes a problem.

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Number four is thinking about things in the shower, like grab bars, non slip

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mats, and other safety features that are going to make sure that they can

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actually get a good grip on something.

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Now, a couple of weeks ago, we talked about grip bars and the smooth, fancy

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ones that are very attractive and maybe designery like look lovely, but if

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they don't have some sort of texture where their hand isn't going to slide

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down, it's going to be more difficult for your parents to get a good hold on

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something like that and prevent a fall.

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So, make sure that the grip bars actually have some texture on them.

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Number five is some topical pain medication strategies that can actually

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soften or ease the nerve discomfort.

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You know, there are a couple of CBD creams that are apparently very good.

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I tried one once and I didn't think it did anything, but you

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never know, it might work for you.

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Number six is a cane, especially those ones that have the little

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fore grips at the end, a walker.

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Now walkers are important, because you want to make sure that they're

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designed to make sure that your parent is able to stand upright, vertical,

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because there are some that the Medicare organizations give away.

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And they actually tilt the body forward.

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So your center of gravity is well over the front of your knees or your hips.

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And that's dangerous too.

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I personally like the drive models.

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I find them to be sturdy and steady.

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Generally, most of the models are designed to make sure that your

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parents stay vertical, not at an angle that improves their stability

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and confidence in walking as well.

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Number seven is to make sure that their living space is well lit to

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reduce for any vision changes that might be going on, especially at night.

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Now, if they've got some support at night, you or an aide or somebody

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else, then making sure that they're around to help them get from the

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bathroom to the bed or wherever they might want to go is important.

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But even then, we need a little extra light at night sometimes too, to make

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sure that we can see where we're going.

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The last thing I'd want to do is trip over dad.

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Not a good thing, right?

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Number eight is Occupational Therapy.

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Sometimes it works, but you're going to need a recommendation or a prescription

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from a doctor to make sure that you can get PT or OT in the house.

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You don't need to take mom and dad to a physical therapy location to

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have them go through the grueling exercises that they might be placed

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through at a place like that.

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The comfort of your own home, or their own home, I think is

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always best, when possible.

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Number nine is to wear, I call them little stretchy gloves to make sure

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that they have a little bit more grip in opening things or doing other tasks.

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They may not always look pretty, but you know what, you can get them in

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some pretty wild colors and that can be fun too, especially when you've got

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a little bit more grip on the inside.

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They can be lightweight and comfortable.

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and if you're dealing with clothes for mom.

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Why not hot glue a little bling on them?

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They can be a fashion statement.

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Your fashion statement, maybe not Yves Saint Laurent.

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Had to say that.

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Number 10.

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Most importantly, please be patient and understand and focus

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on preserving your parents dignity.

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Their dignity is going to make your life better.

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And it's going to help your heart too.

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Neuropathy can dramatically impact an elderly parent's independence

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and quality of life and put them at higher risks of falls or accidents.

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Adaptive equipment, mobility aids, home safety modifications can go a

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long way in helping your mom or dad regain autonomy and independence.

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And then working closely with a medical professional using a

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compassionate and thoughtful approach are key to supporting our parents

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through this challenging condition.

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I love that my dad cared enough to write me notes, even if I couldn't

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read them or they were kind of cat scratched because of his neuropathy.

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I'm pretty sure he liked sending me notes as well.

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it didn't matter that they weren't long.

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The fact that he was taking the time to do so is all that mattered to me.

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And I'm pretty sure that mattered to him too.

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watching our folks struggle with any debilitating effect of

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neuropathy is pretty difficult.

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but as a caregiver, I hope that these tips make the quality of life for

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your mom and dad just a little bit better and the quality of life for

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you as their caregiver easier too.

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And before I go, speaking of falls and accidents, that can

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happen as a result of neuropathy.

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Yep, they can even slide off a chair, believe it or not.

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I heard that from a trauma surgeon, and he said, most of the

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accidents as a result of falls

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Happened when somebody's in a chair.

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Hard to believe, but it's true.

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So, maybe we get neuropathy in our butts.

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Oh, I better stop sitting here and recording this podcast.

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On that thought, please, to help your folks, should they have to call 9 1 1,

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don't forget to get the book, How to Survive 9 1 1 Medical Emergencies, a step

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by step guide before, during, and after.

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It's written specifically for you, the caregiver in mind, and

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more importantly, your folks.

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We deal with everything from what to do before you have an emergency all the way

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through to the end and getting out and discharged faster and making sure that

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your folks get home safely and soundly.

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And even what happens when the 911 system goes down.

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In fact, the 911 system went down in Texas just a couple of weeks ago.

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So yes, it does go down.

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And then if you like this show, please give it a five star rating.

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At least I hope you'll do that.

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You can get to any of your favorite listening platforms

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by going to EldercareSuccess.

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Live, and you can listen to our episode there on Apple, Spotify,

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or any other place you want to.

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But please remember, the show is EldercareSuccess.

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Live.

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Please share it with your friends, your family members, or even somebody

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that you see that might be standing online behind you at Starbucks or

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Dunkin Donuts or at the grocery store.

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And just looking a little stressed out.

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You know what?

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They could be a caregiver too.

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A note about this show can be your gift to them, because it's my gift to you.

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Take care, be well, and keep caring.

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Bye bye.